I’m writing this because I’m a firm believer that if you love someone you should show them every day, not just one day a year. And if you don’t have someone to love in that romantic way, a “hallmark holiday” does not have to get in the way of your happiness.

It’s beautiful to honour love, maybe Valentine’s Day could be about just that, honouring love for love’s sake, rather than being about romantic love (and cash into the till). Anyone can do this exercise if they resonate with it, whether they are in a romantic relationship or not. Just like any exercise I would ask you to please read through it first so you know what to expect before you jump in!

How to Take Your Power Back from Valentine’s Day:

Find a quiet space to breathe and come into your body. Say out loud “I am fully present in my physical body right now” and wait, and see how the energy shifts, until you feel more whole, even heavier in yourself.

Make sure your feet are flat on the ground and breathe, imagine the roots of trees are wrapping themselves around your feet and holding you tight to the ground. Imagine beautiful Mother Earth energy trickling up from these tree roots and into your feet, up your legs. Feel the connection to Earth as you breathe up this energy up into your stomach. Breathe out any fear, anxiety, dread, tiredness or frustration you are feeling about Valentine’s Day, and send it back down to the earth through your legs. Do this a few times.

Bring your awareness into your heart. If you have trouble doing this you might like to try this meditation. With open heart, say the following mantra “I am able to look after myself. I can give myself all the love that I need.” See how you feel after saying that. Say it again, and see do you mean it this time! Believe it and say it once more.

Visualise anything to do with Valentine’s Day that makes you sad or upset – whether it be a memory of someone hurting you or of being disappointed, or a person in your life now who doesn’t feel the same way as you. Imagine that your energy is tied up and connected with this person, or this memory. Now you are going to take it back. Are you ready? Does your heart feel ready? If you are feeling nervous or anxious, connect back to the breath and breathe out the anxiety. Then wait until you feel ready.

Now visualise your energy as sparkles, as essence, as a light coloured mist that is un-weaving itself from the image in your mind, and making its way back to you, cleansed and healed. What colour is it? What does it feel like? Make it real for yourself, and open to it as it comes into the room where you are, and settles itself back into the seat of your physical body. Breathe out anything in you that’s stopping you from welcoming it home. Take as long as you need to do this. If you have many memories you can do one at a time over several sittings of this exercise.

Now let the image dissolve away. Say this out loud “I ask that any energetic cords connecting me to this emotional pain be dissolved, disconnected and transformed. I ask for all of my energy to come back to me right now.”

Take some time after you do this to let the energy settle. You may find you feel a great shift after doing this only once, that’s wonderful, you’re ready for it! But you may also find that you didn’t feel much of a shift and you may have to do it again a couple times. You might also find that over time, the energy leaves you again and you have to do it all over! It comes down to whether you are ready to receive back and look after the part of yourself that you gave away with love and generosity. You also gave it away with expectation that it would be cared for in a certain way, and it most probably wasn’t. That’s ok, we’re all learning!

And this Valentine’s day, I’m going to light a candle and honour love, just because love exists. What’s not to love about that?


If you feel you need help working through the exercises in this article, or if you feel something has been stirred up and you need support, Abby can work with you over Skype to help you move forward with your life. Email her [email protected] to make an appointment.