The choice you have whether to take things personally or not, may not even be one that you are aware of.

I had a wonderful client with me this week, she described this scenario perfectly. She’d be at home, making dinner, happy and relaxed, and her husband would come home. She’d feel his energy before she would see him, and suddenly her mood would change. He’d come into the kitchen and be in a bad mood, and she’d start to panic, wondering what she has done wrong, thinking that he is going to be a difficult night,  she prepares herself for a fight, she trys to “fix him” straight away. He feels her unease and becomes defensive, he’s so tired and not able to talk about how he is feeling and right away she’s onto him, pressuring him… He just wants to be left alone to unwind and process his day. But she feels so uncomfortable around him she agitates him, to the point where he would either walk out the room, or they’d argue, and that’d be the end of any chance of a pleasant evening at home.

Let’s look at what’s happening here. She’s happy and relaxed, right up until he comes into the door. Her mood changes the moment she feels his presence. Why? Something in her is triggered by his heaviness, she gets ready to go into survival mode, and has to fix it so she can have peace in her world. This is the choice she is making – to allow his presence affect her mood.

This happens all the time, we give other people permission to “make us feel” however they “make us feel”. I don’t believe other people “make us feel” anything. Instead, we release control of our own state of being and hand it over to someone else, and then usually end up resenting them because they don’t know what to do with it, or being panicked because we have lost control of our selves.

Entrainment is defined as “ the process whereby two interacting oscillating systems, which have different periods when they function independently, assume the same period. The two oscillators may fall into synchrony, but other phase relationships are also possible.” Simply put, something with a strong vibration will bring the other thing up to its vibration. A bit like women living in the same house all having their periods at the same time, or ticking clocks coming into synchrony.

Your work is not only about raising your vibration, but about holding onto it. Let’s look at my client again, she had a high vibration while she was working in her kitchen, feeling calm, relaxed, happy. Her husband’s low vibration brought her down to his vibration, and she immediately dropped down to his level. This is not entrainment however, this is the human condition. To expect the other person to meet and fill our needs. This isn’t how healthy relationships work.

Entrainment is more about lifting vibration than lowering it. Take Energy Healing for example. When the client comes to the therapist, by giving permission to heal, they enable the therapist’s higher vibration to be the model, and they raise their vibration to match the therapist. This is entrainment in action.

So how can we apply entrainment and not taking things personally, to the situation for my client? It’s all about the trigger. Knowing what triggers you, and NOT giving permission for it to do so.

Back to the kitchen scene. Our heroine is happy and calm, making dinner, maybe even singing a song to herself as she does her work. Her husband comes in, she feels his presence before she sees him. She thinks to herself “I’m not going to let his heavy mood bring my vibration down”. She breathes and creates some more energetic space for herself. She holds her vibration steady. He comes into the room, tired, heavy. He doesn’t feel pressured by her need for him to be any different to how he is, because she is meeting her own needs and is no longer triggered by his heaviness. She makes him a cup of tea, he sits, silent, as dinner is prepared, and he starts to relax. Entrainment takes place. His heavy mood lifts over time and his vibration raises up to match hers. They start talking when he is ready, he begins to open up about his day, what happened, and they both support each other, rather than trying to fix anything.

Our heroine has a choice here – to be triggered, to panic, to try and fix, or to breathe, hold her vibration, and let some space in. And where there is space, the light can come in. There is space for love.

To become aware of your choices, you need to do your personal work. To raise your vibration, to know what it feels like when you’re triggered, and to know what to do to maintain a healthy vibration. To know what your needs are, and how to meet them yourself. You need to be in good shape for life, so that when things happen around you, they are just things happening around you, and not things happening to you.

I’m here to help.

In my Raise Your Vibration Bootcamp class we will do our personal work and look at how you are organised in the world. Trigger points, keeping a high vibration, limiting beliefs, all of these things will be covered. 21 days of emails, audio, video, healing sessions via webinar and support in a secret, private, Facebook group, to get your vibration healthy, and you more aware of the choices you make so you can travel on a path to happiness and love.

Places available now at early bird rate, click here to book your spot.