There are no “shoulds”. Nobody gets to tell you what you “should” do. Not even you. When you feel ready, and want to do it, then do it. And you will, because you can. But not before that. You can’t force growth, you can’t beat yourself up with a stick to make something stick.
It is going to be okay. You CAN change anything you want. But you have to go about it the right way for you, and only you know what that is.
Everything you bring your attention to takes it’s power from that. Even words, the words you use in thoughts and intentions grow in strength as you pay them with your attention, feed them with your awareness.
Pay and feed, those two words in fact are interesting ones. Feed – like the story of the two wolves, one evil and one good, which one will survive? The one you feed. Pay, well, what are you investing in? You think deeply when you spend your money, how about thinking a little more deeply about where you spend your awareness?
I was talking with a good friend about the concept of healing. We were talking about it in terms of strength and weakness. He was coming from the angle of removing the weakness, that was his focus. I realised that wasn’t the solution. Healing is not about focusing on what it is you don’t want, because by focussing on it, you’re feeding it. You get more of it. So you want to feed something else, the opposite of weakness. Strength. Feeding your awareness on strength, paying your attention to strength, and the weakness falls away because you’re too busy learning how to be strong. What do you think?
Carl Rogers is the father of counselling. He believed that for a person to grow, they need an environment that provides them with all of the qualities they require, and they will naturally choose the ones that make them healthier. Like the plant which naturally grows towards the light. So if you focus your awareness on removing a weakness and you do not provide a strength to take it’s place, you get a gap. And a system (i.e. you) that has survived for years with a weakness because it knows how to do that, will go back to doing what it knows how to do.
See if you can bring yourself more inwards. Look at what you are feeding with your awareness, look at what you are paying with your attention. Not giving up sugar, but eating more healthy food. Not being anxious, but investing time looking at things that calm you down. Not getting caught in the “shoulds” or beating yourself up because you’re not moving fast enough for you. Instead, try to invest time in providing yourself with the support you need, the items to put in your environment that you long to lean towards, just as the plant grows towards the light.
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