Each month on the 1st of the month, I do a Facebook Live to walk-through the new month. And August’s theme in my One Day at a Time Diary is compassion. So when I was online, live, for the August walkthrough, what came up was compassion towards your self. Being your own best friend. Because the biggest enemy you will ever have in your life is yourself.
You will not wake up one day and magically be someone else. You will be you, every day, from the day that you were born to the day that you die. You are stuck with yourself – the things that you dislike, the things that annoy you, the things that you wish would disappear. All of these things that you are, are yours, unless you decide to change them. Wishing won’t make them go away.
When you bring compassion into the equation, you can begin to see yourself differently. That thing that you do that drives you crazy, be compassionate towards yourself instead of angry with yourself. For example, after years and years of emotional eating I realised that the only way I would break my cycle was to be nice to myself instead of angry that “I did it again”. Being nice to myself on days where I wake up anxious makes the day a heck of a lot easier, for me. Being kind to myself on days where I am feeling unsure and uncertain of what I need to do. Saying no to things and creating space for myself so that I can be with my uncertainty, and work through it, is an act of compassion. I could, of course, be angry and upset with myself for being uncertain, but that is not going to solve anything.
I sit down with myself, and ask myself what is it that I need, so that I can get through the week. Or the day. Or the next hour. Depending on what is going on for me. Being my own best friend means that I can trust myself to support myself. And it also means that if there is an issue or a difficult situation, my anger towards myself does not make it worse.
I don’t get angry at myself anymore. And when I am frustrated or anxious, I step back and make a compassionate space for myself so that I can work it through. It’s a wonderful, joyous way to be. I wish it for you, too.